2016 was a little tricky for most of us I think. it was wonderful and terrible all at the same time, something i’d never ever come across in my life. I would go on and tell you the enormity of everything i’ve learned (mostly unwillingly might I add) but that would defeat the purpose of the list.
what I will say is this: no matter how hard you think this past year has been or how much you think you didn’t deserve it, or even how much you wish you hadn’t done that thing or made that choice..sometimes choices are just that: choices. we can’t go back. we can’t change them. ever. it may not necessarily have been classified as a good or bad decision. all it is, is that: a decision.
“when you start to feel like things should have been better this year, remember the mountains and valleys that got you here. they are not accidents and those moments weren’t in vain. you are not the same. you have grown and you are growing, you are breathing, you are wrapped in endless, boundless, grace.
and things will get better. there is more to you than yesterday.”
-morgan harper nichols
- learn to love yourself. this is hard. probably the hardest but that’s why its first.
- sometimes not planning is the best planning. go outside. go on a trip. just go.
- don’t expect other people to educate you. please, please (please) educate yourself.
- along with that one.. read. everything you can, as much as you can.
- spending a day at the library is like stopping time for a little while. i promise.
- call your friends. text your friends. show up at their house. travel across the country to see them. don’t let time pass you by because life changes in an instant.
- let them know how important they are to you. sometimes we don’t even know the things our friends are really going through
- trust your gut. if you don’t like the feeling, chances are you will regret it..just trust it.
- do not, i repeat do not remain close to people who make you feel bad about yourself..this is overly repeated but its so true. what you’re really doing by allowing toxic people to remain in your life is not giving yourself the respect you deserve.
- ask for help. this is a big one. i very much hate the idea of having to ask anyone anything, but there’s a huge amount of growth that comes with talking about things instead of bottling them up inside.
- don’t make homes out of people.
- love, love, love. all the time. every day. even if your head is pounding. even if your heart is broken. treat other people like human beings.
- be independent.
- but also vulnerable – have a sense of independence but not to the point where you push everything(the good & bad) away.
- when you can’t control a situation, let it go. just leave it. there is realistically only so much you can do.
- enjoy every tiny moment that you feel even the slightest ounce of happiness. the car rides screaming your favorite songs with your best friends. laughing until you’re crying. watching the sun pass you by every evening. these are the little things you will never get back.
- looking at the stars can clear your mind. just look at them, even for a second. every night. your problems and worries and everything in between will feel so small in comparison to the massive sky above you.
- remain calm. it drives people crazy. but that’s not even the reason you should do it, do it because you trust yourself enough to figure things out.
- go for it. whatever you’ve been wanting to do. if you wait, chances are it will be so much harder for you to do. buy the ticket. book the flight.
- don’t let others make you feel insecure.do not let their opinions decide for you. how they treat you is only a reflection of them
- its okay if your head is a scary place. you can (and should) talk about it. you would be surprised at how many people love you and are there for you.
- you will eventually run into someone who will exceed all the expectations you never knew you had. you will love them a lot. as you should. even if things dont workout. even if timing fails, at least you will know you took the chance and loved them.
- when people leave, don’t blame them. they love you, but they can’t stay..whatever you do, don’t call them. some life decisions are harder than we could’ve ever imagined.
- learn to say goodbye..this is extremely hard. the worst thing life can throw at us is the perfect situation at the wrong time. maybe you don’t understand it, i don’t even understand it still. and i know its hard, saying goodbye to the once in a lifetime, can’t live without you kind of people is heartbreaking. this not only goes for relationships but dreams or plans that we once thought were everything but we are different people and we are allowed to change. move on. start crafting a life that fits the version of you that you are now.
if you got this far…thank you for reading.
just a few highlights from the past year for me: